Rotate your mattress

One day, you may wake up to find that the you-shaped void in your mattress has replaced you. Each night as you slowly sink through the layers of foam — it rises up. Until one last restless shuffle slides you perfectly through one another, you swap places. You're forever trapped in the mattress, but the void is free to roam.

A badly drawn illustration of a person shaped mattress indent with eyes and a mouth. In the background two figures are intimately close over a bowl of cereal.

The you-shaped void lives your life, eats your cereal, and kisses your significant other — right on top of you. All you can do is watch your life go by, until finally, you're taken to the landfill and repurposed as rats nests. The rat babies press their ears against the memory foam to hear your muted cries, a haunted lullaby…

Music to rotate your matress to

step by step
day by day
you march a gentle beat
the same old path
around and around
the footprints fit your feet

day by day
like it or not
you make the shape you do
you beat the ground
deeper and deeper
until the shape is you

another day
has been and gone
and now it's time to sleep
so close your eyes
and shuffle in
but do not fall to deep

As time goes by your mattress will slowly indent and become uneven. Rotating your mattress will give you a more comfortable sleep, and increase the life-time of your mattress, saving you money too.

How to rotate your mattress

Almost all mattresses should not be flipped — instead they should be rotated 180° so the foot of the mattress is now at the head.

  1. Enlist the help of a friend or sleep colleague
  2. Move anything from the area that would break if it was hit with a mattress
  3. Lift with your knees and shift it. Do be careful. Doing yourself an injury will negate all the benefits of rotating the mattress.